Serena ... I
by anata
Summary: Darien's POV on his relationship with Serena ... read it ! I know you want to O_o;


  
AUTHOR'S NOTES :  
  
hiyee peeps ...  
  
This is my first Sailormoon fanfic, so don't hesitate to e-mail me your comments,   
criticisms, suggestions ... anything under the sun ... heck, even if you emailed me about bowling balls and shoe shine, I'd be cool ... what I'm trying to say is ... do a review, or two or three ... this is actually a short story that's very very simple, so don't expect too much ...   
  
This is basically in Darien's point of view, so everything in brackets ( ... ) is   
what Darien is thinking ... The style of writing I used ( if it can even be called  
a style ... * laughs nervously * ) is a bit weird, but I felt that it suited the story.   
There are a few subtle references to what actually happened in the first season,  
so if you haven't actually watched it, you may not ' understand ' them ...   
Hope you enjoy reading it ...   
  
anata  
  
DISCLAIMER : Sailormoon ( the anime, characters, etc. ) do not belong to me ...  
they belong to Naoko Takeuchi-sama and others ...   
  
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Friendship ... can take different forms.  
It can run like a river, quietly and sustainingly through life ;  
it can be an itermittent sometime thing;  
or it can explode like a meteor, altering the atmosphere  
so that nothing ever feels or looks the same again.  
  
- Molly Haskell ( b. 1939 )   
American critic   
  
  
  
" Serena, i ... " ( that's the title )  
  
  
  
He was lonely, walking home with his hands in his pockets. She had just failed a  
major quiz. A carelessly thrown piece of crumpled paper, a clashing of wills ; who could   
have known that they were indeed fated to be together ? He had laughed at her,   
dismissed her from his mind as a stupid, but beautiful, blond ditz ... but still he could not   
forget.  
  
( What's wrong with me ? Why can't I concentrate on my studies, on my work, on   
anything I do ? Could it be that she's my - nah, it's impossible.   
  
He checked his watch, he combed his hair, he even scratched his nose. Despite   
all this, his thoughts kept drifting to those golden meatballs that had captured his attention,   
those eyes that captured his own, those words that captured his heart.   
  
( Aaaaargh !?! Why can't I stop thinking of her ? )  
  
He bumped into her, time and again. He had wanted to reach out to her, to touch   
her beautiful face - but all he succeeded to do was to hurt her. Her tears, pearls that   
sparkled like stars, stabbed him. Truly, they were more painful than any wound caused   
by a thousand shards of ice put together. He despaired.  
  
Time passed.  
  
A peace offering given, a sheepish and apologetic smile on his part - they became   
friends. Maybe it was the offering, possibly the sexy smile that could cause an army of   
women to swoon. In truth, the real reason that led her to forgive was the fact that she had   
loved him, from the very beginning, but of course, she would never admit that to him for   
fear of rejection.  
  
( Even now I am still wondering why she forgave me, but I'm glad that she did. Why did   
I feel such a great sense of relief when she smiled? It was almost as if I had become   
whole again. It was almost as if they had been lovers in a past life, two halves of a   
whole, but that was just a preposterous notion. Or was it ?. )  
  
They went to the arcade together, walked hand in hand in the park, and even   
shared a few chocolate milkshakes together. They laughed, they talked - but something   
was missing. His love for her grew ; an admirable feat since his love for her had already   
been complete since the day he set eyes on her.   
  
( What is she hiding from me ? Why is she so near yet so distant ? After all this time   
I've spent with her, I've made an incredibly important realization … Serena's really a   
ditz … and I love her all the more. Did I just say that I love her ? )  
  
He realized the feelings and emotions that had been pent up for so long were now   
bubbling out, his love so passionate, erupting from his heart like molten lava. He made   
excuses - she was too young, he was too old, but inside he knew that age didn't really   
matter. He tried, quite valiantly, to reveal his feelings to her, but he never accomplished   
his goal.   
  
" Serena, I … "  
  
" Yes Darien ? "  
  
( I want to be the one who kisses your tears away when your sad. I want to wake up each   
day and see your beautiful smile. I want to be the one who you call yours. I want ... I   
want to be with you. )  
  
" Nevermind. It was nothing important. "   
  
( Coward. )  
  
Numerous conversations, all of the same nature and aspect, all ended in the same   
manner. There was no conclusion. There was only uncertainty.  
  
He could no longer feel happiness, only agony, whenever he was near her. His love   
had become his worst enemy, taunting him that he, Darien Chiba, a man of ice who   
had easily rejected countless numbers of women, was now in love with a woman who did   
not return his feelings. The tables were turned. Indeed life was ironic.  
  
He thought about it for a long time. He tried to ignore the pain, but it only   
worsened and grew the longer he stayed friends with her. He did not know what to do   
anymore. He was falling apart.  
  
( I've made up my mind. Giving up on this relationship is painful, but I have no other   
choice. Even if I love the way she can brighten up my day, the way she licks her lips   
after finishing a dish of ice cream, the way she ... Baka ! I should stop thinking about   
this. I should tell her that we can't be friends. I should tell her before my mind weakens   
again - but am I strong enough ? )  
  
He had finally arrived at his destination. He was standing on the porch of her   
house, his finger poised to ring the doorbell. He was unsure, he was shaken - for once in   
his life he felt truly afraid.  
  
Suddenly the door burst open with a bang. It was her.  
  
( My breath caught in my throat as I gazed at her. Truly she was beautiful, both inside   
and out. I was speechless. My previous resolve was quickly disintegrating, crumbling   
like a castle of sand being swept away by the sea. I had no idea what to do next, but I   
remembered. I remembered the fact that she loved someone else, someone who wasn't   
me. Could it be Andrew, could it be her friend Melvin ... I just couldn't bear it. I could   
see it in her eyes, the secret she kept hidden from me, the distance she always kept from   
me. I couldn't bear to be just a friend knowing that she loved another. Being with her is   
agony, for I cannot kiss her when she cries, I cannot hold her in my arms and be her   
knight in shining armour. )  
  
They stared at each other - staring into each others eyes for long agonizing   
seconds. Ice blue eyes clashing with dark blue. Neither could break the silence.   
Simultaneously they spoke up.  
  
" Serena, I ... "  
  
" Darien, I ... "  
  
" You go first. "  
  
" No, you go ahead. "  
  
" Okay Serena. I ... I have to tell you something very important. "  
  
" Me too. Darien, could I go first ? "  
  
He had to exert a lot of effort to suppress a grin that was threatening to overcome   
his serious face. She was so adorable, standing there in her baggy shirt and cut - off   
shorts, her hair blowing in the wind. He just couldn't resist tucking a stray lock of hair   
behind her ear. He felt so happy with her - so happy that he almost forgot why he had   
come in the first place. Almost.  
  
" Sure Serena. "  
  
" I don't know how to say this, so don't you dare laugh. I've never said this to anyone   
before because I've never actually felt it. Aishiteru Darien. I love you so much ... " She   
broke off suddenly, visibly shaken by her confession.  
  
Silence.  
  
( She loves me ? )  
  
She seemed almost childlike, standing there, waiting. She had finally revealed   
her feelings and all she could do was wait for his answer. She smiled, uncertain, but full   
of what could only be love. Without waiting for an answer, she held grabbed his shirt   
collar and pulled him close until there was barely any space between them.  
  
He could only do what his heart told him to do. He kissed her.  
  
Moments later ...  
  
She was breathless, her hair tousled by his gentle fingers. He was grinning like an idiot.   
They were both in heaven.  
  
" So Darien ... "  
  
" Hmmmm ? "  
  
" What were you going to say to me awhile ago ? "   
  
  
  
(^^) - END - (^^)   
  
Did you like it ? Did you ? Did you ? … even if you didn't, do a review ….okie ? … thanks … if it didn't reek too badly, I'll try to write another one … adiyos … or should I say ' SAYONARA ' … for those wondering about the rurouni kenshin fic, don't worry, i've finished chapter six and am planning on uploading it sometime this week ... at the latest around the weekend ...   
  
anata  



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